Wow! It’s Friday. I totally blew off Wednesday, which is trash day. Because with Tom not going to work, I actually lost track of the days of the week. Not that I’m saying it’s Tom’s fault. Just saying…
I have a Day Clock. And you have a sort of idea as to whether it’s the beginning of the day, the middle or the end. It’s kinda cool, and a great conversation starter. But this week I’ve actually had to look at it and check. It’s like we’re on vacation, but not. Tom is still trying to find his place. Funny thing about that. When I stopped working full time back in 1990 [Yikes! Twenty years ago!!!!] I wondered what I would do. Well, no time for that. I was a wife, mother of two young children and was very active in our town government and in our parish.
My biggest issue was learning to say No. No. No. All of a sudden it seemed like I had plenty of time. Well, I had no more time than any other time in my life, but since I wasn’t getting up, dressing, eating, leaving for the train, working in the city [that would be a capital ‘c’ if we were in New York, but since we were in Boston, a lower case ‘c’ will suffice] getting back on the train, coming home. Now, to be fair, we had a nanny. She did the grocery shopping, cleaning the house, changed the linens, cleaned the girls clothes. So you might think, well, I had it easy. Well, maybe. I still had lots of stuff to do, events with the girls, events at church, town government and all that. Plus, although Jean was wonderful, it was still my house and I had to make sure it was all right.
Naturally, when I stopped working [The girls called it retirement. Tom told everyone I was sitting home reading and eating bonbons–I wish] I sort of bought into the idea that I had time. And so I got more involved. Dumb! Really, really dumb! I realized I was doing two, maybe three jobs. What I had always done as wife and mom. What Jean had done as the nanny and what everyone else thought I should be doing with my ‘spare’ time. Yuck. It was awful. I had to learn to say no.
I’m guessing that Tom won’t have to learn to say no. No one expects him to join a board, or volunteer at the SPCA. When I stopped working it was like I had to take the skills I had used in business for the past twenty five years and make sure they stayed clean and sparkly. I’m sure everyone thinks Tom has earned his right to his time. And I agree. ‘Cept, geeze, I do have a couple of projects…..:-)